30 Words Thursday: She

She seeks

beauty

in the smallest of things; finds

joy

in simple

truths.

Essential ideals that bring

wonder

to her

heart

and a kind of

peace

to her sweet

soul. 

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The premise of 30 Word Thursday is simple... take a photo, write 30 words (no more, no less) and post it each Thursday.  This is a blog hop hosted by Erin Prais-Hintz over on her blog Treasures Found, pop on over there to see her post for this week as well as links to the 30 Words from everyone else.

Good Friday...

No pain, no palm;

no thorns, no throne;

no gall, no glory;

no cross, no crown.

~ William Penn

Transparency...

We had unbelievable sunsets last week. The colors changed minute by minute, causing the clouds to take on an increasingly deeper shades of pink, then purple, and eventually a deep black tinged with gold.

I felt so small in comparison to the wide-openness the sky. In that moment, when the last beams of light were fighting their way through the clouds, I realized that my desire is not only to let God’s light shine in me, but to have His light shine through me.

I want to be transparent.

Not in an “I don’t matter so therefore I don’t want to be seen” way, but in an “I want to be so close to God that you can see who He is because of who I am” way. I want you to know that I am hiding nothing; that what you see is what you get.

I want to be transparent.

I don’t want to hold onto secrets. I don’t want you to think that I have any ulterior motives. I want you to know me, inside and out, as a child of God, living my life for Him.

I want to be transparent.

I want you to know that, good or bad, all that I am belongs to Him, and that He is still working on me, turning me into the person He has created me to be.

I want to be transparent.

I want to love without reservation. I want to see you for who He has created you to be. I want to be merciful, not judgemental. I want to be grateful for the life I have been given and not the life I think I should have. I want to sing with joy. I want to rejoice in the opportunity to change and grow.

I want to be transparent.

I want to throw open my arms, turn my face towards the sky and say without hesitation, “With all of my heart, my mind, my soul and my strength, I am Yours. Use me. Teach me. Love me.”

I want to be transparent.

.

When Less Is More...

In the days leading up to Christmas, my husband and I kept asking each other, "Isn't there something else we should be doing? Are we really finished?"

You see, we, like many, many families this year, were putting together a Christmas on very limited financial resources. In fact, we haven't been this lean since our first few Christmases together. Looking back on those years, everything seemed very simple, even if it didn't feel that way then. In those years, we bought stocking stuffers at the Dollar Store and made most of our other gifts. We had so much fun shopping together back then, creatively stretching our dollars out as much as possible.

Over the years as we became more successful in our jobs and our income rose substantially, we spent more and more on gifts. Gone were the days of actually going to the stores to hand-pick presents for each loved one and wrapping each present so that the wrapping itself was part of the gift. We started shopping online and had them gift-wrapped and shipped directly to each person.

Such a time saver - so much easier and less of a hassle. But something was lost in the extravagance that we didn't even realize we were missing...

...until this year.

We all volunteered at church for the Christmas Eve services, and our pastor gave an amazing sermon titled, "Finding Hope This Christmas" . There wasn't a dry eye in the house, including our own. It was a message that every one of us needed to hear that night, and the impact of it will not be forgotten, I am certain.

On Christmas Morning, as we nervously sat there waiting for our teenage son to come out to see what was waiting for him under the tree, we were so worried about how he would react to having so few gifts to open. Would he be disappointed? Would we be letting him down? Would we have to make excuses for the lack of volume and decadence?

All of our fears were laid to rest as he came out and the huge grin broke out on his face. He wished us a Merry Christmas and asked if he could dole out the (very few) gifts to all of us. We took our time as we opened each one. At this slow pace (instead of the usual feeding frenzy of years past), we noticed the details: the hilarious way our son had addressed the gift tag on our present; the ingenious way my husband wrapped my gift "tapeless" ("I don't need no stinkin' tape!"); the beautiful ribbons and paper my mother-in-law used on our gift.

And we talked. And we laughed.

In fact, I swear we laughed more this Christmas day then we had in years! We played Mexican Train dominoes for 4 hours, watched 3 movies, never got out of our pajamas...and thoroughly enjoyed spending time with each other.

So what did we learn this year? We learned that the most precious gift we each have to give is ourselves. Our time. Our love. Our laughter. Our lives.

We discovered again that, really, less is more.

.

I am not home yet...

Last week was such a strange week. Five people I care for lost people they were close to. My friends lost a mother, an uncle, a grandfather and two friends. All of them died of different causes, and all of them were beloved and mourned by their friends and families.

What do you do with that?

I have to admit that I am the worst person when it comes to stuff like this. I never know what to say or how to act, and when I do say something, it never feels quite right. Last week, however, a powerful thought kept returning to me as I heard about death after death: our time here on earth is but a moment – and a short one at that - in comparison to where we will spend our eternity.

So what do I do with the short time I do have: do I look to the future or focus on the past? What?

Dwelling on the past is like falling down into the dirt. Instead of getting up and dusting myself off, I sit there staring at the stains of past hurts and bad choices on my hands, wishing I could change what has already happened but knowing it cannot be taken back.

Focusing solely on the future makes me forget about the here and now. I find myself longing for that sense of control over what will happen next that never, ever comes, no matter how hard I try to find it. The more I search, the more elusive it becomes, until I finally have to admit to myself that this control will forever remain out of my reach.

So where does that leave me?

With today.

With this very moment in time that will be gone in the blink of an eye.

There is a choice to make: to hold on to the guilt and the pain of the past and the apprehension of the unknown, or to spend my time in peace and with joy, knowing that I am flawed but loved, and that I am a part of all of it, good and bad. To know that I am a part of this life that is happening right now, right in front of me.

So I choose to participate. I choose to be present. I choose to live and love as much as I can, because I have no idea how much time is left to share life with those I love who God has placed in my path.

What I do is not just a means to an end. Life here on earth is not the end, but the very beginning of a life that I will ultimately spend elsewhere. My citizenship is not here, but with my Father in heaven:

“In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” John 14:2-3

And so, with a smile and a sense of contentment, I come to a realization:

I am not home yet…

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Celebrating Freedom...

The Fourth of July has always been one of my favorite holidays. We as Americans come together and celebrate in one voice the commonality we share that is our freedom, bought for us by the blood of those who had a greater vision for us than that which was evident at the time. It is something to be celebrated with thanksgiving and humility, as we are the direct beneficiaries of that sacrifice, and I am grateful to live under the promise of that freedom.

So beyond the fireworks, picnics and parades, we must stand back and recognize that which is greater than ourselves. To those who have sacrificed their lives so I can live in freedom, I say thank you.

“Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance.” Psalm 33:12

Spirit West Coast - Del Mar 2

Just a quick note on the trip to Spirit West Coast - San Diego:

Wow - what a weekend! This experience was just overwhelmingly awesome! For three days we listened to Christian bands on 7 different stages and just spent time together as families (we were there with 4 other families). Actually, the boys camped out the whole time, so the hubby and I got a lot of "alone time" which we sorely needed.

The concerts were fantastic, but none compared to the boys' performance - they were just amazing! The boys and parents will be meeting with a recording company in the next few weeks to discuss a recording contract - how surreal is that? We're working on t-shirt designs and getting sponsors right now (apparently being in a band is quite costly...).

I can't wait to see what He has in store for them next!

That's all for now!

Being Thankful...

Some days I just wake up and realize how blessed I am. I have an amazing husband, a terrific son, a roof over my head, food in my belly and a song in my heart. Yesterday we sang "Happy Day" in church, and I can't seem to get it out of my head. Yes...today is a very happy day!