Some Perspective...

With two teenagers in our household, life can get pretty crazy.  I try to keep perspective, but it is way too easy to slip on blinders, concentrating on the small, moment-to-moment details, getting caught up in them to the point where I lose the forest through the trees.  So I sat down this morning to regain that big picture view of my life by taking inventory of the the things that are truly important to me:

I have a husband who is an amazing, Godly man with a heart that overlooks my flaws, endures my quirks, and just plain loves me.  No judgment, asking for nothing to earn it - just love.  We laugh at ourselves (and, on occasion, at each other), and we cry when we need to.  He is my greatest champion.

Every day my boys continue to grow into wonderful young men, despite being faced with so many more challenges than I ever had to deal with at their age.  Some choices are easier to make than others, but, somehow, they continue to make their own way.  I am a proud mama; they give me reason to smile every day.

I am so thankful for my church family.  They are an amazing group of people, and I know that whatever I need, they are there for me.  I love that they give me the chance to give back by sharing my time, talents and treasures with them.  Our church is growing like crazy, and it is humbling to see the hand of God working in amazing and miraculous ways; I am blessed to be a part of it.

Above all else, I am overwhelmingly grateful for God and what He is doing in my life.  I love that He sees me through His eyes and not my own.  I am His child, and He is my Father who loves me and wants His best for me in all that I do.  I thank Him for the gifts He has given me, and for the opportunity to share them with others.  He grows and stretches me every day through opportunities and challenges, and every time I come out stronger, filled with a peace and joy only He can give.

So, although the day-to-day details are not going to go away, I know - truly know - what is important to me. 

And really...I couldn't ask for anything more.

It's Friday But Sunday's Coming...

Last year, I posted this sermon given years ago by esteemed pastor S. M. Lockridge to his congregation; I think it bears repeating:

It's Friday. Jesus is arrested in the garden where He was praying. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. The disciples are hiding and Peter's denying that he knows the Lord. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. Jesus is standing before the high priest of Israel, silent as a lamb before the slaughter. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. Jesus is beaten, mocked, and spit upon. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. Those Roman soldiers are flogging our Lord with a leather scourge that has bits of bones and glass and metal, tearing at his flesh. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. The Son of man stands firm as they press the crown of thorns down into his brow. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. See Him walking to Calvary, the blood dripping from His body. See the cross crashing down on His back as He stumbles beneath the load. It's Friday; but Sunday's a coming.

It's Friday. See those Roman soldiers driving the nails into the feet and hands of my Lord. Hear my Jesus cry, Father, forgive them. It's Friday; but Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. Jesus is hanging on the cross, bloody and dying. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. The sky grows dark, the earth begins to tremble, and He who knew no sin became sin for us. Holy God who will not abide with sin pours out His wrath on that perfect sacrificial lamb who cries out, "My God, My God. Why hast thou forsaken me?" What a horrible cry. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. And at the moment of Jesus' death, the veil of the Temple that separates sinful man from Holy God was torn from the top to the bottom because Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. Jesus is hanging on the cross, heaven is weeping and hell is partying. But that's because it's Friday, and they don't know it, but Sunday's a coming.

~ S. M. Lockridge

Thoughts on Mercy...

It started in November of last year. 

I felt myself getting more and more angry because of the bad choices our foster son was making.  Everything he did I took as a personal attack on me, and my fuse got shorter and shorter to the point where no matter what he did, I was unforgiving and judgmental.  I stopped listening to his excuses and refused to believe that there was another side to any of the stories he told.  He could no longer do anything right in my eyes, and I had this ugly, unrighteous anger boiling over constantly from the depths of my heart.

My personal relationships suffered the most.  I stopped reading my bible.  My husband and I couldn't agree on what to do about anything that our son was doing, and we started fighting more and more.  Our other son got angry as well, but mostly at us for the abrupt changes in our personalities.   Even the dogs got fussier.

So unhealthy. So unbalanced.  So unfair. 

I felt like a Charlie Brown character with the scribbles in a word balloon over my head, or like the character who has the raincloud that follows them everywhere they go.  The pit I was digging just kept getting deeper and deeper, and I wasn't talking to anyone about it.  Instead I sat at the bottom and stewed about how mad I was, and I got angry - a lot.

That's when I heard it.  Deep in the darkness of that bottomless pit, I heard it.  Over the constant clamoring of my unreasonable angry ranting floated the still, quiet voice of God whispering one word, over and over and over: 

MERCY

But I didn't want to be merciful.  I wanted to be angry.  Angry at this child who had lived with us for 10 months and still didn't follow our rules.  Angry at this boy who had lived in 5 different homes in 6 years, only to be used and discarded like trash again and again by people who said they 'loved' him.  Angry at this man-child who, for 16 years had never truly known the meaning of love or family or self-worth.  This child who had spent all of those years building walls to protect himself, knowing in his heart that we would be just like all the rest of the families that had rejected him.  The families who had given him back because he was a troublemaker and would never be any good.  

I wanted to stay angry because it was the easiest thing to be.  That way, I could give up on him and not feel bad about it, having given it my  'best shot'.

MERCY

Really, it hit me like a Mack truck:  What if God had decided to be angry instead of merciful all of the times I had turned my back on Him, had lied to Him, had done things that had completely gone against His will?  What if He decided I would get what I deserved - where would I be then? 

MERCY

God hasn't given up on me, and I am so unbelievably humbled and grateful for that, because if I were in His shoes, I would have given up on me along time ago, having given it my 'best shot'. 

MERCY

So I'm not giving up on this boy, no matter how hard he pushes me to do so.  Because I know that he pushes me the same way that I push against my Father who refuses to give up on me.  And if I truly want to grow to be like Him, I have to be willing to give mercy, even as I receive it.

My heart feels lighter now that I have let go of the knots of anger that were tied around it.  My relationships are better, and my days seem brighter.  Our son still makes bad decisions, but by showing mercy, I can see the good ones he makes as well.  My eyes are opened wider and the light is back.  I can see what I'm supposed to be learning through this:  to be less judgmental and more forgiving. 

To show mercy.

Merry Christmas To All!

Quick Thoughts On Passionate Living...

"When you reach the point

that you are passionate enough about something

to the point that you would die for it,

shouldn't that change how you live for it?"

~ Pastor Greg Rholinger

Lead Pastor, Palm Valley Church

Happy Easter - He Is Risen Indeed...

Our church featured this in our Easter services. It was a sermon given years ago by esteemed pastor S. M. Lockridge to h is congregation:

It's Friday. Jesus is arrested in the garden where He was praying. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. The disciples are hiding and Peter's denying that he knows the Lord. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. Jesus is standing before the high priest of Israel, silent as a lamb before the slaughter. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. Jesus is beaten, mocked, and spit upon. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. Those Roman soldiers are flogging our Lord with a leather scourge that has bits of bones and glass and metal, tearing at his flesh. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. The Son of man stands firm as they press the crown of thorns down into his brow. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. See Him walking to Calvary, the blood dripping from His body. See the cross crashing down on His back as He stumbles beneath the load. It's Friday; but Sunday's a coming.

It's Friday. See those Roman soldiers driving the nails into the feet and hands of my Lord. Hear my Jesus cry, Father, forgive them. It's Friday; but Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. Jesus is hanging on the cross, bloody and dying. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. The sky grows dark, the earth begins to tremble, and He who knew no sin became sin for us. Holy God who will not abide with sin pours out His wrath on that perfect sacrificial lamb who cries out, "My God, My God. Why hast thou forsaken me?" What a horrible cry. But Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. And at the moment of Jesus' death, the veil of the Temple that separates sinful man from Holy God was torn from the top to the bottom because Sunday's coming.

It's Friday. Jesus is hanging on the cross, heaven is weeping and hell is partying. But that's because it's Friday, and they don't know it, but Sunday's a coming.

~ S. M. Lockridge

He Is Risen Indeed...

Good Friday...

No pain, no palm;

no thorns, no throne;

no gall, no glory;

no cross, no crown.

~ William Penn

Faith 4 God...

I wanted to share a great blog with you all: Faith 4 God, written by Peter Sauer up in Washington State. Peter describes the purpose of his blog this way:

"I created faith4god.com for the purpose of expanding God’s kingdom. How do I intend on doing this you might ask??? Well I just wanted to create a site that is fun and inviting. A site that God would approve of that has a little bit to offer to everyone out there! When people leave faith4god.com I want them to leave it with a smile on their face and feeling uplifted and hopefully closer to God. If it weren’t for my desire to bring people to God this site would not exist."

Every day Peter and his wife post an entry that coordinates with this schedule:

• Sermon Sunday


• Music Monday


• Testimony Tuesday


• Weekly Scripture Wednesday


• Thursday Thought of the Week


• Fun Facts Friday


• Silly Jokes and Quotes Saturday

Today, Peter used one of my blog posts, Transparency, as the testimony for this week. Thank you, Peter, for sharing this post with your readers. I am honored you chose my words to further your purpose of sharing Christ's love with your readers.

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Transparency...

We had unbelievable sunsets last week. The colors changed minute by minute, causing the clouds to take on an increasingly deeper shades of pink, then purple, and eventually a deep black tinged with gold.

I felt so small in comparison to the wide-openness the sky. In that moment, when the last beams of light were fighting their way through the clouds, I realized that my desire is not only to let God’s light shine in me, but to have His light shine through me.

I want to be transparent.

Not in an “I don’t matter so therefore I don’t want to be seen” way, but in an “I want to be so close to God that you can see who He is because of who I am” way. I want you to know that I am hiding nothing; that what you see is what you get.

I want to be transparent.

I don’t want to hold onto secrets. I don’t want you to think that I have any ulterior motives. I want you to know me, inside and out, as a child of God, living my life for Him.

I want to be transparent.

I want you to know that, good or bad, all that I am belongs to Him, and that He is still working on me, turning me into the person He has created me to be.

I want to be transparent.

I want to love without reservation. I want to see you for who He has created you to be. I want to be merciful, not judgemental. I want to be grateful for the life I have been given and not the life I think I should have. I want to sing with joy. I want to rejoice in the opportunity to change and grow.

I want to be transparent.

I want to throw open my arms, turn my face towards the sky and say without hesitation, “With all of my heart, my mind, my soul and my strength, I am Yours. Use me. Teach me. Love me.”

I want to be transparent.

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Sunday Thoughts...

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.' "

John 8:12

Light of the World

Giver of creation, bringer of salvation
Word of God, eternal life
Praise the Son of God
Promised One of Heaven
To bring us to your Kingdom
Rescued us from darkness
Praise the Son of God


Jesus, light of the world
Shine on us, shine on us
Word of life, spoken for love
Breathe on us, breathe on us
Light of the world, King Jesus


Darkness will obey your voice
Weakness will in you rejoice
You have bound the broken heart
Praise the Son of God
Jesus
You have shown your father's heart
And to us you will impart
The holiness of all you are
Praise the Son of God


Jesus, light of the world
Shine on us, shine on us
Word of life, spoken for love
Breathe on us, breathe on us
Light of the world, King Jesus


Shine, breathe, live through us
Shine, breathe, live through us
Shine, breathe, live through us
Shine, breathe, live through us


Jesus, light of the world
Shine on us, shine on us
Word of life, spoken for love
Breathe on us, breathe on us
Light of the world, King Jesus


God's beating heart, live through us
God's beating heart, live through us
God's beating heart, live through us


Light of the world, King Jesus
King Jesus, shine on us, shine on us


Watermark, "Jesus, Light of the World"
A Grateful People

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I am not home yet...

Last week was such a strange week. Five people I care for lost people they were close to. My friends lost a mother, an uncle, a grandfather and two friends. All of them died of different causes, and all of them were beloved and mourned by their friends and families.

What do you do with that?

I have to admit that I am the worst person when it comes to stuff like this. I never know what to say or how to act, and when I do say something, it never feels quite right. Last week, however, a powerful thought kept returning to me as I heard about death after death: our time here on earth is but a moment – and a short one at that - in comparison to where we will spend our eternity.

So what do I do with the short time I do have: do I look to the future or focus on the past? What?

Dwelling on the past is like falling down into the dirt. Instead of getting up and dusting myself off, I sit there staring at the stains of past hurts and bad choices on my hands, wishing I could change what has already happened but knowing it cannot be taken back.

Focusing solely on the future makes me forget about the here and now. I find myself longing for that sense of control over what will happen next that never, ever comes, no matter how hard I try to find it. The more I search, the more elusive it becomes, until I finally have to admit to myself that this control will forever remain out of my reach.

So where does that leave me?

With today.

With this very moment in time that will be gone in the blink of an eye.

There is a choice to make: to hold on to the guilt and the pain of the past and the apprehension of the unknown, or to spend my time in peace and with joy, knowing that I am flawed but loved, and that I am a part of all of it, good and bad. To know that I am a part of this life that is happening right now, right in front of me.

So I choose to participate. I choose to be present. I choose to live and love as much as I can, because I have no idea how much time is left to share life with those I love who God has placed in my path.

What I do is not just a means to an end. Life here on earth is not the end, but the very beginning of a life that I will ultimately spend elsewhere. My citizenship is not here, but with my Father in heaven:

“In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” John 14:2-3

And so, with a smile and a sense of contentment, I come to a realization:

I am not home yet…

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Spirit West Coast - Del Mar 2

Just a quick note on the trip to Spirit West Coast - San Diego:

Wow - what a weekend! This experience was just overwhelmingly awesome! For three days we listened to Christian bands on 7 different stages and just spent time together as families (we were there with 4 other families). Actually, the boys camped out the whole time, so the hubby and I got a lot of "alone time" which we sorely needed.

The concerts were fantastic, but none compared to the boys' performance - they were just amazing! The boys and parents will be meeting with a recording company in the next few weeks to discuss a recording contract - how surreal is that? We're working on t-shirt designs and getting sponsors right now (apparently being in a band is quite costly...).

I can't wait to see what He has in store for them next!

That's all for now!

Spirit West Coast - Del Mar

OK...I'm going to indulge a bit here...

Today my family and I are about to set off on an adventure this weekend! We are on our way to "Spirit West Coast - Del Mar", a 3-day Christian music festival in San Diego starting Friday, where our son's band, "Two Days Til Tomorrow", will be performing on Sunday. What an amazing opportunity for these guys! It is even more amazing in that the band has five incredibly talented musicians who are ages 14 - 16 writing and performing all original songs -- very cool!

Our son plays electric guitar & sings background vocals. The coolest thing about it is that, at 14, he is getting a chance to pursue his dream and to use his God-given talents to serve God and to be an example to others. At fourteen!

It took me 30 years before I had enough courage to put my talents to use. I wish I had been as quietly confident of myself and the plan that had been laid out for me when I was 14. Then again, I wouldn't have the life experience to give me my perspective on life if I had...

He is truly a blessing in our lives, and I am grateful to have him in mine. Ahhh...the love of a mother...

That's it for now - I've gotta go pack!

Being Thankful...

Some days I just wake up and realize how blessed I am. I have an amazing husband, a terrific son, a roof over my head, food in my belly and a song in my heart. Yesterday we sang "Happy Day" in church, and I can't seem to get it out of my head. Yes...today is a very happy day!

Thoughts on glass...

I am fascinated with glass and its remarkable, perfect, reflective surface. It can be clear or colorful - any color really. It is everywhere I look, reflecting impulses of light - versions of reality depending on where I am standing. A powerful yet fragile surface that, left on its own, can stand for a while, eventually revealing every chip and scratch, slowly growing tendrils that inevitably shatter the whole into tiny unrecognizable pieces. What is left is a pile of something that used to be beautiful, but is now considered by many to be unworthy and disposable. Each little piece has razor-sharp edges that will injure any who try to pick it up without protection.

Putting the pieces back together to recreate the whole as it was is impossible. Pieces will always be missing. Only by taking the pieces and rearranging them into something new can the possibility of being whole again be considered. Even then, it cannot stand on its own – it will need something to fill in the cracks – something to surround each piece, giving it stability and structural integrity.

Only when the pieces of glass are carefully arranged and glued down in a new way – a new creation – can the piece be completed. Filling in the spaces around the pieces with grout gives the artwork structure, unity and purpose. The transformation is remarkable. The artwork is not complete with the glass or grout alone. Only with the one relying on the other is the new creation possible.