Life is a participation sport...

Photo From Pinterest

Does it ever feel like you are running in place on a treadmill instead of moving forward?

Do you sometimes feel like you just plain can't move because you are afraid that, whatever choices you make, you will make the wrong one?

Or that there are just so many options in front of you that you are simply overwhelmed by the choices and therefore don't make any choice at all?

Or are you at a place in your life where you are numb - apathetic in regards to everything?

Maybe you get up every day, pretending to be someone you are not, hoping that no one discovers the real you, because you aren't very excited about that person.

I think everyone has been in one of these positions at one time in their life.  The stress of living in any one of these situations is enormous and can seem insurmountable at times - absolutely impossible to overcome.

What I have to say first is that you are not alone.  In fact, you would be surprised at how many people are in the same place you are right now, and just won't let it show behind the shiny veneer they put up.

The second thing I have to say is that in spite of how you are feeling at this moment, you are alive, and that your life is a participation sport.  There are no sidelines.  You are in the middle of the game, whether you want to be or not, and you are a key player - an MVP in fact - in your very own championship game.

Regardless of how you view it, you are actually moving forward each and every day.  You are making progress, becoming the person you were created to be.  You can't stop it from happening, regardless of how hard you try to sit out.

Each person you meet - each situation you find yourself in - changes you.  It has to.  Each second is unique unto itself and can never be reclaimed, and therefore must transform you in some small or great way, for better or worse, just because you lived through it.

Each change brought on by each second you breathe this air means that you are never the same as you were before.

Moving forward.

Changing.

Transforming.

What's more, even though you don't always control the game time or the plays that are called, you do control the way the game is played.  You choose how to respond to the plays - the circumstances - that are happening around you.  You choose to be on the offense or defense, and you choose how the game is won.

Because the game will be won.  No matter what.  And you can't lose, because as long as you are alive, you are winning.

So the question becomes this:  how are you going to choose to play the game?

This second,

this minute,

this hour,

this day,

this week,

this year,

this lifetime?

Because life is a participation sport.

And there are no sidelines.

____________________________

What are you overcoming or have you overcome in your life?  

Leave me a comment and let me know:

To Do List

To Do Today:

• Curse old, blown-up, completely useless computer - check
• Set up new computer - check
• Set up e-mail - check
• Import old documents - check
• Notice e-mail program is beeping nonstop because the "server is not found" - check
• Curse wireless network for suddenly not working - check
• Go through every imaginable means of diagnosing network problem - check
• Remember old standby:  "Reset" - check 
• Fix wireless network like a (semi) pro - check
• Set up new, wireless printer - check
• Do happy dance when wireless printer actually works - check
• Take a break and eat a sugar free jello cup - check
• Remember that people are coming over to super-messy house this evening - check
• Curse super-messy house - check
• Do quick cleanup of super-messy public living areas - check
• Pray that no one looks in my front hall closet - check
• Have teenager clean guest bathroom - check
• Set up second new computer - not a chance...

Hmmmm....

finally out of bed after being sick as a dog all weekend - check

tax stuff finished and ready to go to the accountant - check (well...almost)

time to be able to go out to all of the Bead Soup blogs - check

thank you to all of you awesome soupy bloggers who have visited my blog so far:

i  promise  i will make it to yours this week!

Some Perspective...

With two teenagers in our household, life can get pretty crazy.  I try to keep perspective, but it is way too easy to slip on blinders, concentrating on the small, moment-to-moment details, getting caught up in them to the point where I lose the forest through the trees.  So I sat down this morning to regain that big picture view of my life by taking inventory of the the things that are truly important to me:

I have a husband who is an amazing, Godly man with a heart that overlooks my flaws, endures my quirks, and just plain loves me.  No judgment, asking for nothing to earn it - just love.  We laugh at ourselves (and, on occasion, at each other), and we cry when we need to.  He is my greatest champion.

Every day my boys continue to grow into wonderful young men, despite being faced with so many more challenges than I ever had to deal with at their age.  Some choices are easier to make than others, but, somehow, they continue to make their own way.  I am a proud mama; they give me reason to smile every day.

I am so thankful for my church family.  They are an amazing group of people, and I know that whatever I need, they are there for me.  I love that they give me the chance to give back by sharing my time, talents and treasures with them.  Our church is growing like crazy, and it is humbling to see the hand of God working in amazing and miraculous ways; I am blessed to be a part of it.

Above all else, I am overwhelmingly grateful for God and what He is doing in my life.  I love that He sees me through His eyes and not my own.  I am His child, and He is my Father who loves me and wants His best for me in all that I do.  I thank Him for the gifts He has given me, and for the opportunity to share them with others.  He grows and stretches me every day through opportunities and challenges, and every time I come out stronger, filled with a peace and joy only He can give.

So, although the day-to-day details are not going to go away, I know - truly know - what is important to me. 

And really...I couldn't ask for anything more.

Thoughts on Mercy...

It started in November of last year. 

I felt myself getting more and more angry because of the bad choices our foster son was making.  Everything he did I took as a personal attack on me, and my fuse got shorter and shorter to the point where no matter what he did, I was unforgiving and judgmental.  I stopped listening to his excuses and refused to believe that there was another side to any of the stories he told.  He could no longer do anything right in my eyes, and I had this ugly, unrighteous anger boiling over constantly from the depths of my heart.

My personal relationships suffered the most.  I stopped reading my bible.  My husband and I couldn't agree on what to do about anything that our son was doing, and we started fighting more and more.  Our other son got angry as well, but mostly at us for the abrupt changes in our personalities.   Even the dogs got fussier.

So unhealthy. So unbalanced.  So unfair. 

I felt like a Charlie Brown character with the scribbles in a word balloon over my head, or like the character who has the raincloud that follows them everywhere they go.  The pit I was digging just kept getting deeper and deeper, and I wasn't talking to anyone about it.  Instead I sat at the bottom and stewed about how mad I was, and I got angry - a lot.

That's when I heard it.  Deep in the darkness of that bottomless pit, I heard it.  Over the constant clamoring of my unreasonable angry ranting floated the still, quiet voice of God whispering one word, over and over and over: 

MERCY

But I didn't want to be merciful.  I wanted to be angry.  Angry at this child who had lived with us for 10 months and still didn't follow our rules.  Angry at this boy who had lived in 5 different homes in 6 years, only to be used and discarded like trash again and again by people who said they 'loved' him.  Angry at this man-child who, for 16 years had never truly known the meaning of love or family or self-worth.  This child who had spent all of those years building walls to protect himself, knowing in his heart that we would be just like all the rest of the families that had rejected him.  The families who had given him back because he was a troublemaker and would never be any good.  

I wanted to stay angry because it was the easiest thing to be.  That way, I could give up on him and not feel bad about it, having given it my  'best shot'.

MERCY

Really, it hit me like a Mack truck:  What if God had decided to be angry instead of merciful all of the times I had turned my back on Him, had lied to Him, had done things that had completely gone against His will?  What if He decided I would get what I deserved - where would I be then? 

MERCY

God hasn't given up on me, and I am so unbelievably humbled and grateful for that, because if I were in His shoes, I would have given up on me along time ago, having given it my 'best shot'. 

MERCY

So I'm not giving up on this boy, no matter how hard he pushes me to do so.  Because I know that he pushes me the same way that I push against my Father who refuses to give up on me.  And if I truly want to grow to be like Him, I have to be willing to give mercy, even as I receive it.

My heart feels lighter now that I have let go of the knots of anger that were tied around it.  My relationships are better, and my days seem brighter.  Our son still makes bad decisions, but by showing mercy, I can see the good ones he makes as well.  My eyes are opened wider and the light is back.  I can see what I'm supposed to be learning through this:  to be less judgmental and more forgiving. 

To show mercy.

I Am Grateful For...

Life

Love

Faith

Family

Friends

Happy Thanksgiving!

Quick Thoughts On Passionate Living...

"When you reach the point

that you are passionate enough about something

to the point that you would die for it,

shouldn't that change how you live for it?"

~ Pastor Greg Rholinger

Lead Pastor, Palm Valley Church

What Are You Doing To Pay It Forward?

Paying it forward...random acts of kindness...helping others...the concept seems lost today. These ideas have been replaced by one, very powerful, philosophy:

Looking out for #1.

This small, seemingly innocuous phrase has done more damage than any that has gone before it. By seeping quietly into our everyday lives, it has turned our perspective on where we fit in to the Big Picture completely upside down, and manifests itself in so many subtle ways that, most times, we don’t even notice it.

How, you ask? Well, let’s see if I can think of a few examples here…

• 
  
  
  Driving by a homeless person holding their sign at the freeway off-ramp because you know that they are either just looking for drug money, or that “They really DO make more money by begging than most people make working actual jobs – I saw it on 60 Minutes”.

• 
  
  
  With $200 of groceries in your cart, when asked if you want to donate $1 to a good cause, you don’t want to spend the extra dollar because it isn’t in your budget.

• 
  
  
  Thinking of Charity Giving as a luxury item, only to be paid if you have extra $$$ left over at the end of the month (which never happens!).

• 
  
  
  Finding out after the fact that your neighbor was very ill and is in recovery, and the opportunity to help them has passed.

• 
  
  
  Sitting in church, the pastor mentions a family who has suffered a loss and needs community support, and you don’t help because someone else, surely, is taking care of it.

• 
  
  
  Walking into a movie theater/grocery store/department store, you just let the door shut behind you rather then look to see if someone is behind you for whom you could hold it open.

• 
  
  
  A mother with a fussy child is in the grocery store, and the child drops something on the ground. You look with distain at the mother for not controlling her child instead of remembering what your children were like at that age and picking up the item, smiling at the mother, and saying hello.

• 
  
  
  Volunteering at a non-profit, not because it represents a great cause, but mostly because the cause s politically correct and you know you will meet socially influential people there, and it would improve your social status.
  

Do you see where I am going with this? Many times, without even realizing it, all of us are guilty of this behavior. We can justify it all we want, but it still comes down to this: we are looking out for #1.

So how do we fix this? How do we take on the insurmountable job of changing the thought process and behavior of billions and billions of people?

Believe it or not, the solution is simple:

Start with #1.

What if each of us started doing things for others with absolutely no expectations of benefit for ourselves? How many people could we touch if we just stopped looking for a return on our investment and started looking for people who just need help?

I know – crazy, right?

So where to find these people you ask?

Well...open your front door, stand outside and take a look around. The answer is: everybody. We all need kindness. We all need comfort. We all need friendship. We all need to see a sliver of compassion in this very cynical world.

So what can you do about it? Get up and just do it!

Here’s a few of suggestions:

• 
  
  
  Help your neighbor carry in their groceries.

• 
  
  
  When paying for your Happy Meal in the drive-through, pay for the order of the car behind you.

• 
  
  
  Smile at someone on the street as you walk by.

• 
  
  
  Talk to the person behind you in the grocery store.

• 
  
  
  Compliment someone on their outfit.

• 
  
  
  Offer to take a meal to a family that is having a tough time for whatever reason.

• 
  
  
  Bring coffee for someone in your office who looks like they are having a bad day & leave it on their desk.

• 
  
  
  Pay for the next 5 cars behind you at the toll booth.

Before you embark on your mission to commit Random Acts of Kindness, take a few minutes to examine your motives. Are you looking for recognition? Are you looking for acknowledgement? Are you looking for gratefulness? Or are you ready to just give of yourself without a need for a pat on the back? In other words:

Is it all about you, or is it all them?

So just go - get moving - think outside the box – be creative in how you pay it forward. Afterwards, leave a comment on this post and let me know what you did! Who knows how many lives you will touch with just one small, seemingly inconsequential act of unselfishness?

Maybe, just maybe, that one person you help will realize what you have done for them and do something kind for someone else, and that person will do something for another person, and that person will help another...

And maybe, just maybe, we can collectively change the world...

(This post was inspired by a sermon given at Palm Valley Church on 7/25/09)

Two Days Til Tomorrow On Tour!

OK...I've kept this quiet until we knew for sure it was happening, and now I can finally say it out loud: our son, Zach, is going on tour with his band, Two Days Til Tomorrow, this summer! They will be part of Extreme Faith Productions' "Par Avion Tour" with 3 other bands. The tour will go for 16 days and encompass 6 states (Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Idaho, Oregon & California).

The headlining band is High Flight Society, and our boys will be opening for them with Sleep for Sleepers and This Great Escape. We are so excited! They will be starting out here in Arizona on June 12th at 7:30 pm at Grand Canyon University with a free concert. If you are in town and want to catch a great show, come on down - we would love to see you!

Good Friday...

No pain, no palm;

no thorns, no throne;

no gall, no glory;

no cross, no crown.

~ William Penn

Transparency...

We had unbelievable sunsets last week. The colors changed minute by minute, causing the clouds to take on an increasingly deeper shades of pink, then purple, and eventually a deep black tinged with gold.

I felt so small in comparison to the wide-openness the sky. In that moment, when the last beams of light were fighting their way through the clouds, I realized that my desire is not only to let God’s light shine in me, but to have His light shine through me.

I want to be transparent.

Not in an “I don’t matter so therefore I don’t want to be seen” way, but in an “I want to be so close to God that you can see who He is because of who I am” way. I want you to know that I am hiding nothing; that what you see is what you get.

I want to be transparent.

I don’t want to hold onto secrets. I don’t want you to think that I have any ulterior motives. I want you to know me, inside and out, as a child of God, living my life for Him.

I want to be transparent.

I want you to know that, good or bad, all that I am belongs to Him, and that He is still working on me, turning me into the person He has created me to be.

I want to be transparent.

I want to love without reservation. I want to see you for who He has created you to be. I want to be merciful, not judgemental. I want to be grateful for the life I have been given and not the life I think I should have. I want to sing with joy. I want to rejoice in the opportunity to change and grow.

I want to be transparent.

I want to throw open my arms, turn my face towards the sky and say without hesitation, “With all of my heart, my mind, my soul and my strength, I am Yours. Use me. Teach me. Love me.”

I want to be transparent.

.

Find Your Wings

It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the truth
And If I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

It's not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

- Mark Harris, "Find Your Wings"

When Less Is More...

In the days leading up to Christmas, my husband and I kept asking each other, "Isn't there something else we should be doing? Are we really finished?"

You see, we, like many, many families this year, were putting together a Christmas on very limited financial resources. In fact, we haven't been this lean since our first few Christmases together. Looking back on those years, everything seemed very simple, even if it didn't feel that way then. In those years, we bought stocking stuffers at the Dollar Store and made most of our other gifts. We had so much fun shopping together back then, creatively stretching our dollars out as much as possible.

Over the years as we became more successful in our jobs and our income rose substantially, we spent more and more on gifts. Gone were the days of actually going to the stores to hand-pick presents for each loved one and wrapping each present so that the wrapping itself was part of the gift. We started shopping online and had them gift-wrapped and shipped directly to each person.

Such a time saver - so much easier and less of a hassle. But something was lost in the extravagance that we didn't even realize we were missing...

...until this year.

We all volunteered at church for the Christmas Eve services, and our pastor gave an amazing sermon titled, "Finding Hope This Christmas" . There wasn't a dry eye in the house, including our own. It was a message that every one of us needed to hear that night, and the impact of it will not be forgotten, I am certain.

On Christmas Morning, as we nervously sat there waiting for our teenage son to come out to see what was waiting for him under the tree, we were so worried about how he would react to having so few gifts to open. Would he be disappointed? Would we be letting him down? Would we have to make excuses for the lack of volume and decadence?

All of our fears were laid to rest as he came out and the huge grin broke out on his face. He wished us a Merry Christmas and asked if he could dole out the (very few) gifts to all of us. We took our time as we opened each one. At this slow pace (instead of the usual feeding frenzy of years past), we noticed the details: the hilarious way our son had addressed the gift tag on our present; the ingenious way my husband wrapped my gift "tapeless" ("I don't need no stinkin' tape!"); the beautiful ribbons and paper my mother-in-law used on our gift.

And we talked. And we laughed.

In fact, I swear we laughed more this Christmas day then we had in years! We played Mexican Train dominoes for 4 hours, watched 3 movies, never got out of our pajamas...and thoroughly enjoyed spending time with each other.

So what did we learn this year? We learned that the most precious gift we each have to give is ourselves. Our time. Our love. Our laughter. Our lives.

We discovered again that, really, less is more.

.

Calm in the Chaos...

I was just reading Deborah Truesdale's latest blog entry (Little Art Room In Back), and it got me thinking about my own life and how it can so easily get bogged down with the woes of the world. Most of my conversations these days tend to end with some version of: "Well, things should start to get better after the election".

Really...am I so naive as to think that an election, especially this election, will magically fix what is wrong with our country? There is so much to be done to cure what ails us, the reality is that there is no way that the election will fix it. I think if I spend too much time thinking about it, I could become paralyzed with indecision about what I should do next - how can I fix it enough to be satisfied?

Well, I don't know about you, but I am exhausted with just thinking about the enormity of it all.

I think that in the middle of all of the chaos I have forgotten to spend time in my own backyard. I have forgotten to spend time with the beauty of the yellow lantanas that are taking over my back porch. I have forgotten to laugh at my son's goofy Freshman boy humor. I have forgotten to stand in awe of the sunset tonight that was made of colors we haven't even thought of yet. Above all, I have forgotten to take inventory of the seemingly small joys that make up my life and to be thankful for them.

Hmmmmm......

So I will take this opportunity to quietly sit and contemplate what is really important to me: my faith, my family, my friends - in essence, my life. Trite, I know, but true nonetheless.

Without doubt we will make it through this season. What will we look like when it is over? That's a great question, and one I'm not prepared to even think about, let alone answer. We will be changed - no doubt about that.

And change is good.

In the meantime, I...will ...just...breathe...

:-)

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My Challenge: Where Do You Create?

There's a lot being written right now about where artists create. Stampington is coming out with a publication, "Where Women Create", and it looks amazing!

I have been curious about where all of my blogging friends go to put their creativity into motion, and I would love to see pictures of all of your studios!


So here's the deal: post some pictures of the space that you have carved out for yourselves, and then leave a comment on this post with a link to your post, and I will compile the links into a list right here on my blog.


To start it off, here are a few pictures of my studio (not super exciting, but
it is all mine!):

I am not home yet...

Last week was such a strange week. Five people I care for lost people they were close to. My friends lost a mother, an uncle, a grandfather and two friends. All of them died of different causes, and all of them were beloved and mourned by their friends and families.

What do you do with that?

I have to admit that I am the worst person when it comes to stuff like this. I never know what to say or how to act, and when I do say something, it never feels quite right. Last week, however, a powerful thought kept returning to me as I heard about death after death: our time here on earth is but a moment – and a short one at that - in comparison to where we will spend our eternity.

So what do I do with the short time I do have: do I look to the future or focus on the past? What?

Dwelling on the past is like falling down into the dirt. Instead of getting up and dusting myself off, I sit there staring at the stains of past hurts and bad choices on my hands, wishing I could change what has already happened but knowing it cannot be taken back.

Focusing solely on the future makes me forget about the here and now. I find myself longing for that sense of control over what will happen next that never, ever comes, no matter how hard I try to find it. The more I search, the more elusive it becomes, until I finally have to admit to myself that this control will forever remain out of my reach.

So where does that leave me?

With today.

With this very moment in time that will be gone in the blink of an eye.

There is a choice to make: to hold on to the guilt and the pain of the past and the apprehension of the unknown, or to spend my time in peace and with joy, knowing that I am flawed but loved, and that I am a part of all of it, good and bad. To know that I am a part of this life that is happening right now, right in front of me.

So I choose to participate. I choose to be present. I choose to live and love as much as I can, because I have no idea how much time is left to share life with those I love who God has placed in my path.

What I do is not just a means to an end. Life here on earth is not the end, but the very beginning of a life that I will ultimately spend elsewhere. My citizenship is not here, but with my Father in heaven:

“In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” John 14:2-3

And so, with a smile and a sense of contentment, I come to a realization:

I am not home yet…

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Summer Jewelry Challenge: Project #9

I have been working on Project #9 on and off for a couple of weeks now, and I finally have something to show for it! This was definitely the hardest one for me so far, as I went into it with a definite vision of how I wanted the piece to look, and I went through a lot of metal before I resigned myself to the fact that if I wanted to actually complete the piece, I was going to have to go with what I had. With that said, I did end up with two versions of the project: the first one looks more like the version in the book, and the second one concentrates more on the "cut-out" area and how to fill that negative space. All in all, I am happy with both pieces. I was really excited to use some beads that I bought from a wonderful etsy vendor, gypsywoman (her shop is great for beautiful vintage beads).

We are off to Tucson tomorrow for a gig with my son's band, Two Days Til Tomorrow. They are opening up for Fireflight and Downcast Fable, and it should be a great concert! If you are in the area, they will be playing at:

Tucson Community Church

4950 West Pima Farms Road

Tucson, Arizona 85741

Cost : $10 - (480) 812-1100 for ticket info

All in all, life is pretty darn good!

Celebrating Freedom...

The Fourth of July has always been one of my favorite holidays. We as Americans come together and celebrate in one voice the commonality we share that is our freedom, bought for us by the blood of those who had a greater vision for us than that which was evident at the time. It is something to be celebrated with thanksgiving and humility, as we are the direct beneficiaries of that sacrifice, and I am grateful to live under the promise of that freedom.

So beyond the fireworks, picnics and parades, we must stand back and recognize that which is greater than ourselves. To those who have sacrificed their lives so I can live in freedom, I say thank you.

“Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance.” Psalm 33:12

Flowers...

I was stumped today about what to write about, so I asked my son to give me a word to get me going...flowers it is!

When we moved to Arizona, I was a little apprehensive about landscaping. I envisioned miles upon miles of brown nothingness and cactus, without a flower in sight. We have lived all around the country, and I have had amazing flower gardens and planters everywhere we have lived, and I wasn't sure where I would get my "flower fix" out here.

I am a fan of English gardens: winding trails of roses and ground cover, growing seemingly haphazardly yet perfectly choreographed into an ordered disarray of pastel and primary colors. We had roses the size of dinner plates in Washington State, hot pink azaleas in Northern California, purple, green and rosy hydrangeas in Virginia and enormous bright red and white geraniums in Texas. So what would I do with all the brown nothingness here in the Southwest? There was no way that was I going to have even one cactus in my yard...they are so "not me".

So I read, researching what I could do to fix my "brown problem", and that is when I learned about the Painted Desert. Did you know that cacti flower? Well, I didn't expect them to be this beautiful, but here they are, blooming in yellows, pinks and purples. (I still don't have any cacti in my yard, but I do admire them from afar...)

Actually, the opportunity to put color with flowers in my yard is tremendous here. I just have to make sure the rabbits don't eat them (not pets mind you...wild jackrabbits from the wash behind the house who, I believe, count on me to provide them with their own personal salad bar). So I put in yellow lantana, purple verbena, fluffy red and pink fairy dusters, always green - and now unbelievingly enormous - trailing rosemary that blooms with tiny little light blue flowers a few times a year and makes my yard smell delicious, and lavender plants that have grown and grown and add to the lovely herbal smell of the yard.

Oh yes...and bright red geraniums...

Spirit West Coast - Del Mar 2

Just a quick note on the trip to Spirit West Coast - San Diego:

Wow - what a weekend! This experience was just overwhelmingly awesome! For three days we listened to Christian bands on 7 different stages and just spent time together as families (we were there with 4 other families). Actually, the boys camped out the whole time, so the hubby and I got a lot of "alone time" which we sorely needed.

The concerts were fantastic, but none compared to the boys' performance - they were just amazing! The boys and parents will be meeting with a recording company in the next few weeks to discuss a recording contract - how surreal is that? We're working on t-shirt designs and getting sponsors right now (apparently being in a band is quite costly...).

I can't wait to see what He has in store for them next!

That's all for now!